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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1408
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:17 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.

"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.

"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."

"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"

"Jealousy," answered Peter. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman.
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2016
Posts: 2159
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:39 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

Damn, my traditional Easter rabbit stew is now cold because my neighbor was at the door with some whiny story about his kidís missing pet!
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mo2872
Full Curbster


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 2016
Posts: 2159
Location: Tulsa, OK

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2017 8:01 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A group of engineering professors where invited to fly in a plane. Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed that the plane was built by there students.

All but one got out of their seats and headed frantically to the exit in maniacal panic. The lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked "Why did you stay put?"

"I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I can for a fact, assure you this piece of **** plane will never even start"
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Wombat
Original Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 68
Posts: 1235
Location: Brisbane, Australia


PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 6:05 am    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch and sit with them, so she put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "Any of you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused. Then one of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled back down, "Why?"

The worker yelled back, "íCause his mum's here with his lunch."
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Jan Ove
Full Curbster


Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Age: 46
Posts: 1408
Location: Norway


PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:31 pm    Post subject: icon_note  Reply with quote

A guy was stuck on a desert island for years. Then, from the depths of the ocean, came a stunning dark-haired beauty equipped with scuba gear.

She walked slowly, voluptuously, up to the guy and asked very softly "Would you like a cigarette?".

His yes filled with wonder as he answered "sure".

She unzipped a pocket on the sleeve of her wetsuit, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a light. She offered him a cigarette, took one herself and lit them both.

As they smoked their cigarettes, she asked, "Would you like a martini?"

"WoW, Yes" he responded with immense enthusiasm.

So she unzipped another pocket, pulled out a shaker of martinis, a couple of glasses and poured them both a drink.

She watched him as he sipped his drink and, with a breathtakinly beautiful smile, whispered into his ear, "Would you like to play around?"
Amazed at his good fortune, he said "You've got to be kidding! You've got golf clubs in there, too?"
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G68
FNG Curbster


Joined: 05 May 2012
Age: 57
Posts: 238
Location: OFallon Missouri

1968 Mercury Cougar

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:42 pm    Post subject: icon_note Idiots at work Reply with quote

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had not signed the back of my credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless it was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the card with the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the card right in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched!
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